. CHAPTER 5 — The Apology That Came Too Late
Jessica reached for Ethan’s hand. He stepped back.
The movement was small, but everyone saw it.
“Please,” she whispered. Her voice finally found the privacy she had denied him. “I was angry. I didn’t mean all of it.”
Ethan looked toward the candle between them. The flame trembled in the restaurant air.
“You meant enough.”
Tears gathered in Jessica’s eyes. She hated that they came now, when they looked like regret instead of pain. She hated the faces watching. She hated the waiter who had heard her, the businessman who had smirked, the hostess who now looked at Ethan as if he had always been royalty.
Most of all, she hated the memory of her own voice.
A mistake.
Ridiculous.
Poor.
The words returned one by one, wearing her mouth like evidence.
“I loved you,” she said.
Ethan did not answer quickly. That was worse.
“I think you loved being loved by me,” he said at last. “There’s a difference.”
Jessica shook her head. “No. You don’t understand. I was scared.”
“I know.”
“I thought I would end up struggling forever.”
“I know.”
“I wanted security.”
“So did I.”
That made her cry harder, because she understood then. He had wanted security too, not money, but the safety of being chosen when he had nothing impressive to offer. She had turned that safety into a stage and burned it down.
Mr. Harris closed the folder halfway. “Mr. Cole, the car is ready.”
Ethan nodded.
Jessica moved in front of him, desperate now. “Give me one chance. We can start over. I’ll prove it.”
He looked at her, and for a second the old Ethan came back: the man who brought soup when she was sick, who waited outside her office in the rain, who believed people were better than their worst moments.
But then the old Ethan remembered the entire room listening to him be measured and discarded.
“Starting over would mean forgetting tonight,” he said. “I don’t want to forget it.”
Jessica’s mouth trembled.
“Because tonight hurt me,” he continued, “but it also saved me.”
He picked up the pen, signed the document, and returned it to Harris.
The manager stepped forward. “Mr. Cole, would you like us to prepare the private exit?”
May you like
Ethan looked once at Jessica.
“No,” he said. “I’m done leaving through side doors.”
